Broadening horizon

Time to do a blog post - this will be very personal one. This blog is one of those “ am I doing the right thing”. Being vulnerable is not easy....

I did start this blog a while back with a different “sound” to it but left it unfinished. Just couldn’t finish it...Then over the weekend I spoke to a lovely friend who was thinking of starting a blog of her own about very relevant topic, signifiant to everyone's daily life… and I realised I haven’t written anything in almost 3 months.

My friend made me want to write this - Thanks you lovely!

My original post started with super optimistic statements… I wanted to be super optimistic about 2019. Don’t get me wrong it will be an awesome year!!! So many fab things have already happened and will happen … here comes the “but” or actually a question ...

when is it ok to doubt yourself? When is it ok to question yourself?

I am letting the guard down for a minute, letting myself say the things I am thinking.

It is scary to doubt yourself, it makes me feel weak, it makes me look weak and …it may let the negativity into my life.

I don’t want negativity in mine; it makes everything so difficult and tiring. Negativity takes the energy out of everything which is good. So I am very keen to keep negativity out of my space. But lately it has been hard,.. self-doubt has crept in.

So, I am now giving myself the “OK” to doubt myself. Question what will I do, what I can do, why cannot I be “as good as others”. I hate comparing myself to others. I have always been very aware of not doing that.

I am me. I do what I do, how I do it, it is my life and my way.

Being in the industry of arts - you will ALWAYS compare. There are those who keep winning awards, producing work effortlessly and creating unique pieces just like that!

Or at least it feels like that to you… me. I do realise that the "others" may have been in the industry for years and experience counts.

I feel it all comes through social media; and I have nothing against social media. I am aware of it, the opportunities it provides, pros and cons etc. Social media provides daily motivation to me and many. This is the era of social media, we all embrace it in our own way. Any one us will always compare what ever there is to compare. So do I and that has made me feeling inadequate - in my area of creative arts.

I’ve given myself the space to feel this. It is fine. You won’t feel 100% happy with your work EVER! None of us will. The balance may be to let it inspire you and energise you but not allow the intimidation in - recognise where you are in your personal and professional development.

As I kept feeling like this I decided to start something new.

I gave myself space, paused and took the pressure off from the thing I felt I wasn’t producing the results I wanted. I decided I am not going to be writing down the reason “Why I felt I wasn’t ….” . That is not the point. The point is to give yourself the freedom to accept, breath and move on, recap, recover and return.

I stepped into something, out of my norm but into something I love too. I decided to explore food photography additional to my portrait work.

My love for newborn and child portraits is still there and flying strong but now it has a little addition; an interesting love affair with food photography.